Look Back but Don't Stare
by stanaticfanatic
Summary: A series of one-shots following on from my previous fic 'I Never Could Forget Those Cheekbones' with flashbacks to previous cases and some Caskett fluff. Each chapter can be read as a stand-alone. Epilogue of previous fic might help to understand this story if you haven't read it but it's not completely necessary.
1. 1x10 - A Death in the Family

**_A/N: so I'm going to write these chapters as sort of flashbacks as a continuation of 'I Never Could Forget Those Cheekbones'. (Flashbacks are in italics.) The epilogue to that story referenced certain episodes, so I'm kind of going back through those. _**

**_If you haven't read it, Castle and Beckett got together at the beginning of season one, engaged after Demming was around and married just before Roy was killed/Kate shot. Set present day (ie. mid to end season 6 (and probably into hiatus) won't be spoilers for season 6 until I get to those episodes in about 30 chapters time!)_**

* * *

**1x10 - A Death In The Family**

"Hey, Castle?" Beckett whispers into the darkness towards the sleeping lump of her husband beside her.

"Mmhm..?" he replies sleepily.

"Thank you." She says.

Castle turns towards her, so they're both led facing each other. "For what?" he asks.

"For uhm, for sticking your nose into my private life." She lets out a deep sigh. "If it wasn't for you, I would never have caught my mother's killer and I know we still don't have the person behind it but it's enough for now. So thank you."

Castle leans forward to press a kiss onto Kate's forehead. "Always." He whispers.

* * *

_"Castle, you touch my mothers case, and you and I are done." Beckett said._

_"Okay. Why don't you want to investigate it?" Castle pressed._

_"Same reason a recovering alcoholic doesn't drink. You think I haven't been down there? You don't think I haven't memorised every line in that file? My first three years on the force, every off-duty moment was spent looking for something someone missed. It took me a year of therapy to realise if I didn't let go, it was going to destroy me. And so I let it go." She stepped into the lift, Castle still behind her._

_"Sorry, I didn't know."_

_"Yeah, well now you do." And Castle knew that the elevator doors closing in front of them was closing the conversation too, she wasn't opening up anymore. During the past few months, he'd learnt quite a lot about Kate Beckett and she'd told him about her mother and what she was like. He hadn't said anything yet, but he knew he loved her, knew she was the one for him. He just had to find the time to tell her when he was as sure as he could be that she wouldn't run._

* * *

"You know, I'm still not happy you went back to Sorenson for help on that case." Castle mutters. "And you gave him a doughnut."

Looking up at him, Kate can see him pouting like a child who hadn't got their own way. "Yeah well, I'm giving you a child. I think that outranks a doughnut, eh?" She says, giving him a quick kiss.

"Yeah, I guess so." Castle says in defeat. Though obviously, a child with the woman of his dreams is a hell of a lot better than a doughnut.

"Anyway, he helped us with that case."

"I love it when you say things like that." Castle smiles.

"You..like it when I bring up ex-boyfriends?"

This time it was Castle's turn to roll his eyes. "No, when you say things like 'us' and 'we' and 'our case'. Honestly that first case I helped you on I never thought I'd live to see the day you said things like that."

Beckett smiles at him. He really was adorable. "Yeah, and just as I was telling the Captain how I couldn't have done that case without you, you were doing the one thing I had categorically asked you not to do."

"It took me over an hour to pluck up the courage to even tell you, you know. I selfishly put myself first and didn't know if I could cope without you..you'd said we'd be done and I didn't know if I could deal with that. But Murray said you had to know and he was right. I did wonder if you were ever going to speak to me again though.."

* * *

_"Castle, what's going on?"_

_"It's about your mother."_

_"What do you mean, it's about my mother?" Beckett growled in the hallway of the hospital. "Castle, what have you done?"_

_"I..uh, look. Before I you bite my head of and never speak to me again-"_

_"Castle, I'm asking you one last time - what. Have. You. Done?"_

_"Can we take this somewhere a little more private?" He asked. Other people in the hospital corridor were starting to stare. He didn't need this ending up on page 6 if someone recognised him._

_Shooting him one more ferocious look Beckett stood up and walked down the hallway and into the empty relatives room. Closing the behind them, she spun around to face him. "So?"_

_Taking a seat and grateful that she did the same - she was scarier when she was stood in those heels - Castle began to explain what he'd found out. How he'd met with the top forensic pathologist in the city and had him analyse the evidence photos and got his opinion. "So, it turns out your mothers murder wasn't random gang violence."_

_Beckett looked close to tears. She hated him with a passion right now for bringing this up and_ _poking his nose in where she had specifically asked him not too, but she had to know exactly what he knew, she couldn't walk away just yet. "Oh god..what are you saying?" She whispered._

_"What I'm saying is that from the evidence Murray saw, your mothers murder was pre-meditated. It was a professional hit and not an accident." He finished, anticipating her reaction with bated breath._

_Beckett was silent for a moment, taking all of this new information in. "How could you do this, Castle?" She said quietly. For some reason, he'd rather she was shouting at him. This quiet voice she had was much worse. "You know how hard it was for me to get out of that rabbit hole and what are you trying to do, push me back down?"_

_"No, Kate, I-" he started, but Kate interrupted him._

_"Don't bother. Save your breath Castle, I'm not interested. Do you not think I looked into every single possibility when I went over the case files myself? And what do you think this has achieved anyway? So we know it was a professional hit but that doesn't bring us any closer to finding out who did it. If anything, it's harder - we might someday get the guy who actually killed her but we might never know who ordered it." She let out a deep breath before I continuing. "And I'm standing by what I said - we're done." And with that, she walked out of the relatives room and out of the hospital. Castle just hoped it wasn't out of his life for good._

* * *

"That week you didn't speak to me was horrific, you know." Castle murmurs into her hair. They were cuddled together in bed, Beckett's head against Castle's chest. "I honestly thought I'd lost you for good."

"Yeah, well you might have done if I hadn't realised I couldn't live without you." Beckett says. "I was angry, so angry but you did it for the right reasons..it just took me a while to see that."

* * *

_After leaving the hospital, Kate went to the only person she felt she could trust right now - Lanie. She didn't call first and just hoped Lanie was home. Knocking on the door to her apartment, she was relieved when Kanie answered._

_"Kate! Hi! What're you doing-" Lanie stopped, looking at the expression on Kate's face. "Wait, what's wrong?" She asked, opening the door to let her into the apartment._

_"He did it. He went there even though I asked him not to." She whispered, sinking onto the couch."_

_"Who? Did what?" Lanie asked, feeling slightly confused._

_"Castle. He investigated my mothers murder."_

_"That son of a bitch!" Lanie exclaimed. "How could he do this? He knew how hard it was for you to let it go, why would he bring it back up?" Lanie was angry. Castle hadn't seen what Beckett was like back then and she desperately didn't want her friend heading back in that direction._

_"He..he said he found something." Beckett said._

_"Found what?" Lanie scoffed. She'd been over the case files herself, she couldn't see that anything had been missed in the original investigation. _

_"It wasn't gang violence, Lanie. It was a hired hit." She said, looking up at her friend with tears in her eyes. "He got some top notch pathologist to look at it, he said the stab wounds were too clean and practiced for it to be anything but." _

_"Oh god Kate. I'm so sorry." Lanie soothed, sitting next to Kate on the couch and wrapping her arms around her. "God that's just awful. What had she done to deserve that?"_

_"That's just the thing, I don't know. My mom was a great person, she believed in those that others didn't. All she wanted was the truth and she wasn't bothered by the past. If they didn't do it then she'd fight for them, no matter who they were. So I really, really don't know why she would have been killed like that!" _

_"We'll figure it out sweetie, if you want to. If not then I'll be here for you, no matter what. But the minute you want to look back into this, you've got me, okay?" She asked and Kate nodded against her. "And I know you don't see it at the moment but what Castle did, he did for you. He loves you, Kate and he's the best thing that's ever happened to you."_

_Kate sighed. "I know, Lanie. I know this isn't his fault and he was just trying to help but he wasn't there when I spent every waking minute looking for something. I was a mess back then and he comes in with his 'contacts' and finds something straight away. How does he even know the best forensic pathologist in the city in the first place? Ugh, he infuriates me sometimes."_

_Lanie chuckled. She'd been friends with Kate long enough to know that even though she said all these things about Castle, she loved him really. She was just too damn stubborn for her own good sometimes. "So, what did you do?"_

_"I told him we were done and came straight here. I had to stand by my word, Lanie. I need time away from him. I know what he did was for me and I'm in a way glad that he found something but at the same time I'm incredibly pissed off that he went there in the first place." _

_"Well you wanna stay here for a couple of days? I mean I know you still have your apartment even though you spend practically every night at his place but I thought you might want some company?" Lanie suggested._

_"Thanks, Lanie, but I'm okay. I'm just gonna head home and have some me time. I'll call you tomorrow?"_

_"Sure, bye sweetie." Lanie said as Kate headed out of the apartment._

* * *

"Lanie was kinda on your side, you know." Kate tells Rick.

"Oh really?" Castle asks. He'd always assumed Lanie took Kate's side on that one, especially with the frosty reception he received from her when he went back, anyway.

"Yeah. She didn't exactly go against me and my decision or anything, she just told me you'd done it because you loved me and you wanted to help."

"I..how did she know I loved you?" Castle asks. He hadn't told Kate at that point.

"Apparently it was written all over your face every time you saw me.." Kate says with a smirk.

"Hmm, well I'm pretty sure it was you that was into me first, anyway."

"Castle. We're not having that argument again. Not now!" Kate laughs, god they'd had that argument so many times, neither of them ever agreeing with the other.

"You'll admit it one day."

"Castle, it's been like six years. And we've been married for nearly three. Don't you know me well enough by now to know I'm not giving in?"

"Yes, yes I do. And it's one of the things I've always loved about you. Even though I actually found something when I looked into your mothers case, you still stood by your word and walked away, you weren't giving in easily."

"I'm sorry." Kate whispers.

"Hey hey, I didn't mean it like that! I was impressed, actually. That you had the strength to walk away and not go back to how you were. I went too far, I realised that, but you have this incredible strength and willpower that is so admirable, it makes you so special."

* * *

_The rest of the week passed in a blur for Castle. He'd tried calling Kate so many times he was surprised she hadn't hit him with a restraining order. Left so many messages her inbox was probably full. He knew he shouldn't have done it, she'd specifically asked him not too but when Murray got back to him saying he'd found something, he had to know what - he was a writer after all, liked his stories to have meaning and endings. He wouldn't have told Beckett unless he absolutely thought she had to know, he didn't want to lose her. But he couldn't have kept that a secret, no way. It had a taken a huge amount for Beckett to trust him up to this point and he knew by going behind her back he was violating that trust but he wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he'd kept that quiet._

_He couldn't sleep and couldn't write. He had Gina breathing down his neck every five minutes for the rest of the Nikki Heat novel he was almost done with..he just had to write the final chapter and it was done, but he didn't know what to write. How could he give the book a good ending if he and Kate were still in limbo? Didn't seem right. So Gina would have to wait, it's not like he hadn't given them over twenty bestsellers already, surely they could wait another few weeks._

_Alexis even offered to talk to Beckett, bless her. The two of them had grown pretty close in the few months he and Kate had been dating and he could tell she missed her too. She comforted him though, even after he told her what he'd done. She went all parental on him for a moment, telling him off for what had happened but she'd made them ice cream for breakfast and she was there for him._

_And then the call had come from Gina - the press wanted a photo shoot and interview to go with this new book - the one he hadn't finished yet. Gina tried to put them off until the book was complete, but they said they wanted it now and they'd just run it when the book was published. Castle was petrified. It had been six days since he'd seen Kate. She hadn't returned any of his calls and he knew better than to visit her apartment or the precinct. But this shoot had to be done at the precinct and they wanted to speak to the inspiration behind Nikki Heat too. _Oh Beckett was going to love this.

_So the next morning found Castle with two models wrapped around him whilst Beckett shot him scathing looks from her desk. She hadn't said a word to him that morning but hadn't looked surprised when he turned up, so he figured the captain had told her the plan. And then they got a body and he managed to convince her to let him and the reporter tag along, much to his relief. He hadn't seen her in a week, he was going to take every opportunity he could to win her round again._

_It was Alexis, in the end, that had made him realise what he had to do. He needed to apologise. Properly. So he headed down to the precinct to see she was still sat at her desk, finishing off the paperwork from their - her - case._

_He knew this might not even work, that she might not ever talk to him again, but he had to give it a shot. "I'm sorry. What I did was wrong. I violated your trust, I opened old wounds, and I did not respect your wishes. And if we're not gonna see each other again, then you deserve to know...I'm very, very sorry." _

_And as he'd turned to walk away, a miracle had happened. "Castle." She'd called, "I'll see you tomorrow." And she had. She called him the next morning when a body dropped and it had been tense at first, but they'd got round it. He cooked her dinner that night and he knew then that he was the luckiest guy on the planet._

* * *

"I never did find out though, why did you forgive me?" Castle asks.

"Lanie, mainly. She made me realise that what we had was not worth throwing away over my moms case. After I realised you'd done it to help I kinda had to forgive you. Doesn't mean I wasn't still angry though, but I think you learnt your lesson." She replies.

"Yes, yes I did."

"But I meant what I said - we wouldn't have got this far if it wasn't for you." She says as she kisses him softly. "Now come on, we've got to get up and go to work."

* * *

_**A/N: so, what do you think? Please let me know what you did and didn't like and I'll try and take some suggestions on board for future chapters!**_


	2. 2x03 - Inventing the Girl

**_A/N: so sorry for the slow update but Ive had like no time to do anything this week! Anyway, here's chapter two and I'm hoping to have chapter three up before the weekend! Enjoy :)_**

* * *

**2x03 - Inventing the Girl_._**

"I'm glad that case is over." Castle says as he and Beckett arrive back at the loft after a hard day over at the precinct. "It's getting kinda late, you just wanna order in instead of cooking?"

"Yeah sure, sounds good..how about Italian tonight?"

"'Kay, I'll order it now and get us some wine while we wait for it."

"Perfect." Beckett replies, leaning up to plant a soft kiss on his lips. "I'm gonna go get into something more comfortable, back in a minute."

Castle watches her retreating form with a very appreciative glance at her backside, smiling to himself. _I really am the luckiest guy in the world, _he thinks.

"Castle - food. Wine. Eyes off my ass." Beckett calls, not even turning around but knowing he's staring at her anyway.

"Oh but Kate, it's such a-"

"Well you can admire it as much as you like later, but right now I'm starving. Food!" She exclaims, disappearing into the bedroom.

"Right, food." He mutters. Finding the take out menu for their favourite Italian, he pulls out his cell phone to make the order.

Five minutes later and they're both sat on the couch with a glass of red wine, Kate having changed into a pair of leggings and a long t-shirt.

"How long did they say it would take?" She asks, taking a large sip of her wine.

"About half an hour, not too long." Castle replies. Picking up a magazine his mother must have left on the coffee table, he looks at the model on the front cover. "Do you miss it?" He asks. "The modelling?"

Beckett considers his question for a minute. "A bit, I guess. I mean I loved it when I was doing it..the shoots, the hair, the make up, the dresses and the travelling, but it wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I quit at the right time, always good to go out when you're at your best."

"I guess. You were so good at it though..don't look at me like that you know how much I admire what you did back then." He says with a smile.

"I don't know Castle, it's like my modelling career was in a different lifetime. I forget sometimes that I used to be a model, it hardly ever gets mentioned at work which is the way I want it and it takes something to happen for me to remember what I used to do. I just feel like that wasn't me, it was a different person."

"It _was_ a different person." Castle tells her. "The Kate Beckett I met back then and the Kate Beckett - soon to be Castle, I might add - are completely different people. Not necessarily in a bad way, I'm in love with both versions of you, but I get what you mean - if someone didn't know you used to be a model, they wouldn't be able to tell when you're at the precinct investigating a murder. Oo, remember the murder of the model..when was it? Must be four or five years ago now.."

"Oh yeah, that was a strange one for me.."

* * *

_Walking to the fountain plaza that morning, Castle and Beckett caught up with their current case from Ryan and Esposito. _

_Heading over to Lanie and the body, Castle quickly established that she was a model. "Well, she's tall, she's gorgeous, ten pounds underweight. Her hair is fried, she's wearing too much eye makeup. She's a model."_

_Beckett wasn't sure how she felt about Castle's deductions. "Is that what you thought about me when we first met, hey Castle?" She joked._

_Castle's eyes widened, seeming to realise what he'd just said. "I uh, no no, of course not. Well yes, the tall and gorgeous part but not the rest. Oh no, you were perfect the night we met."_

_Beckett blushed, her eyes meeting with Castle's, the two of them forgetting Lanie and the dead body were there._

_"Yes well as much as we all love stories about the night you two first got together, can we talk about the girl with the missing shoes?" Lanie interrupted before Kate could respond._

_"Yes, of course, Lanie." Castle told her politely. "Anyway, it means she was probably at a club last night, It is, after all, Fashion Week, when all the hottest women in the world descend upon the hippest nightspots like locusts. Only, locusts - and Kate here, - eat." _

_After figuring out a connection between their victim and the fashion designer, Teddy Farrow, Castle and Beckett left Lanie in peace. _

_"I can already see the blurb on my next book jacket. 'Its Fashion Week in New York City and the clothes are to die for.'"_

* * *

"Thank god Nikki wasn't a model too. Goodness knows what your next book could have turned out like." Beckett teases with a laugh.

"Hmm, well I didn't exactly want to write the story of us completely, I mean I know Nikki is based on you but you're not exactly the same. No, she's much hotter."

Kate throws a cushion at him. "Careful or I might take away certain.._privileges_." She says with a wink.

Castle knows full well what she's talking about and quickly changes his mind. "I'm sorry I'll behave I promise." He blurts out.

"Thought you might, somehow." Kate says, rolling her eyes. Though to be honest, she wasn't too sure how _she_ would fare by refusing sex. She should probably threaten him with something that wasn't mutually enjoyable.

"So, what was it really like, when we went to speak to Teddy Farrow. Just how you remembered big shoots to be?" Castle asks.

"Oh I think it was worse!"

* * *

_"Mr Farrow, I'm Detective-"_

_"Kate Beckett. Yes, I know who you are - everyone worth their dime in the modelling industry knows who you are. Caused quite a stir turning down one of the most valued positions in the industry by quitting." Farrow said to Beckett's surprise. She honestly didn't think people would still recognise her, but they did. "So, you're a cop now? Bit of a career change don't you think?"_

_"Yes well, things happen. Anyway, do you know this girl?" Kate replied, a little frostily, showing him a picture of the girl they'd found in the fountain. She had her own reasons for quitting and she didn't have to explain herself to virtual strangers._

_After getting confirmation from Farrow that their victim was named Jenna McBoyd, Castle made a new friend. The girl seemed to recognise him but Castle was clueless as to why. Beckett couldn't help but watch their interaction with a smirk. She wasn't jealous, not really, the girl looked like she was still a senior in high school for Christ's sake._

_"So, you gonna call her?" Beckett asked._

_"Oh, yeah thought I might give her a ring and see if she wants to go out for dinner tomorrow night." He replied sarcastically. "No of course I'm not going to call her."_

_"I was joking, Castle. But don't think I haven't seen you looking at all these beautiful girls in here."_

_"I only have eyes for you."_

_Kate rolled her eyes. "Cliché much?" She said. "I don't mind, too much. I've been here, I know what's under those dresses."_

_Ignoring her comment so as to not lead them down a path they shouldn't go down, Castle brought up her past instead. "So, is it just as you remember?"_

_"Oh god no, I think it's worse. Makes me so much happier I gave it up when I did."_

_"It wasn't like this in your day?"_

_"You make me sound like an old lady, telling her grandchildren stories about 'the good old days.'"_

_"_Our_ grandchildren." Castle said quietly._

_Beckett smiled but didn't take it further. It was cute, though, that he wanted children with her and to grow old together. "It was like this but it's even worse now. I don't remember there being this many people working behind the scenes and everyone seems so stressed out. The only time I got stressed was when I hadn't eaten." She said._

_Castle smiled. "You know, there were a lot of models there the night we met but I mean this honestly - _you_ were the one that stood out. All the others were like these girls here - underweight, too much make up but you were different. You looked like you'd be happy to eat a hamburger and not make yourself throw it up afterwards." There was something in the way he said it that stopped Kate from thinking he was just saying that because he felt like he had to given that they were together. "And you're smart. And seriously kick ass. I'm literally the luckiest guy on the planet." _

_"Yeah, well I wouldn't say I fared too badly either, Castle." _

* * *

"Ryan and Esposito didn't really know what to say about that case, did they?" Castle says with a laugh. The boys had been hilarious around Beckett.

"Oh they were funny. We never really spoke about my modelling past at that point, I think they were just trying not to offend me or something." Beckett replies. "I don't know how they expected me to know who had killed her though. It's not like I had any advantage over the rest of you! Oh, you should have seen their faces when I told them interviewing every single model wasn't completely necessary. They insisted though, took statements from every single girl."

"You can't blame them though, really. I mean I was sort of used to it, I was at parties and book launches with models and the like all the time back when Derrick Storm first hit the shelves, but this was new to them, they were having fun!"

"Yeah I guess. I just know what models can be like, the bitchiness is unbelievable. Some of the ones I used to work with could have torn Ryan to shreds!"

"Are you glad you told them more about it though?"

"Yeah I am actually. I think we'd got to a point then where they knew I was a cop and respected me for that and I wasn't someone who had slept their way to the top just because I'm a woman. So I thought it would be good to share with them what I used to do..though I still don't know if they know we met when I was still a model?"

"I don't think they do actually, god they'd have a field day with that one, especially with the way you were with me when we met again!"

"Oh god, Castle, don't. Please, can we not tell them? They'll never let me live it down!"

Castle was saved from answering by a knock on the door. Getting up he opened the door and paid the delivery boy for their food, adding a generous tip too.

He set their food on the coffee table, Kate bringing plates and cutlery over from the kitchen.

"Well, that case just made me a hell of a lot happier that you weren't doing that anymore. As good as you were, you're a cop. You're supposed to be a cop. A smoking hot cop, but still a cop." He says as they tuck into their food. "That's why I invited Alexis' old babysitter over that night. Jenna didn't have anyone looking out for her so I wanted to make sure Rina did. And she was so stoked to meet you."

"I'm surprised she knew who I was..She must have been about 12 when I was modelling."

"You don't give yourself enough credit for it. I know you could say any tall, gorgeous woman could do it, but you have this ability to do things with your eyes that most people can't. Some of those shots you have..wow, you can literally get lost in your eyes. It doesn't surprise me that some of the younger models look up to you."

"Well that's very sweet, Castle." She says, leaning in to give him a kiss. "Now eat up, I was thinking about taking a bath. Want to join me?"

Castle ate as quick as he could without giving himself indigestion.

* * *

**_A/N: so this one is more present day with less flashbacks - is that good or bad? Let me know if you prefer the way I wrote the first chapter or this one. It was a hard one to write given that it wasn't a memorable episode as such, but I kinda had to write it given that Kate used to be a model! Thoughts appreciated, your feedback keeps me going :)_**


	3. 2x12 - A Rose for Everafter

**_A/N: you are seriously the best people ever, thank you so much for reviewing/following/favouriting! Time for jealous Beckett.._**

* * *

**2x12 - A Rose for Everafter.**

"Is there no paperwork we can do?" Castle asks.

Looking at him from across the desk, Beckett raises her eyebrows. "Wow, you really must be bored if you're _offering_ to do paperwork."

"Beckett, it's -" he checks his watch, "2.30 in the afternoon. We've been here since before 9 with no cases and you had finished the paperwork by 10, at which point playing candy crush on my phone was still keeping me occupied. But right now, I'm bored!" They'd been sat there for the best part of four hours with nothing to do. They had no new cases and Espo and Ryan had headed down to annoy Lanie for a bit.

"You do realise you don't _have_ to be here, right? Six years in and I thought you'd have figured out you're not actually a cop. If you wanna go, then go."

"And leave you here without my irresistible charm for company? No, I wouldn't do that to you. Besides, we're partners, I wouldn't be a very good one if I left you now."

Beckett surveys him for a moment. "You have a chapter due, don't you?"

"I, uh..why, what-" Beckett raises her eyebrows again. "Oh alright, yes, I have a chapter due. But I don't know what to write! And Gina keeps calling, demanding to know why she doesn't have it yet - she wants me to go out for dinner tonight! She's _saying_ it's to discuss another contract with Black Pawn but I know it's only so she can harass me for the next chapter."

"Oh well if _Gina_ wants you to go out for dinner then don't let me and my non-existent cases stand in your way." Beckett says, a slight touch of sarcasm in her voice.

"Katherine Beckett-Castle are you _jealous_? Of _Gina_?" Castle asks incredulously.

"What? No, no I'm not _jealous_? What am I, fifteen?" Now it was Castle's turn to raise his eyebrows. Beckett sighs. "Okay, fine. Yes, I am a _teeny tiny _bit jealous. The past few weeks I've hardly seen you outside of the precinct. And I'm not saying I don't want you spending time with Alexis, you know I'd never come between your relationship with her but if you're not with her, you're with Gina. We've been married three years now and I don't want us to get complacent."

Castle tries to keep his smile to himself, he loves seeing her all riled up like this. "Kate, I'm not getting complacent. Do you remember how much I had to convince you to be with me in the beginning? I'm not blowing you off that easily." He breaks off at the slight quirk of her lips. "Mind out of the gutter, Beckett." He says.

Beckett couldn't help it. She was just as bored as he was and when he mentions 'blowing you off'? Well how could she _stop_ her mind from going down that path? However now, she was extremely close to dragging him into the supply closet and showing him just how well she could blow him off.

Castle could tell what she was thinking. Her eyes darkened and a slight flush was forming on her cheeks. _Kate Beckett-Castle was turned on at something he'd said out of hand. _And the jealousy thing? Sweet Jesus, he was close to taking her right here on the desk. _Deep breaths, Castle_. "So, you're jealous, hey?" He says, trying to steer the conversation back towards something slightly less.._inappropriate_ for the work place.

She loses her smile and looks almost hurt. "Hey, I'm only teasing." He tells her. "Actually, it's pretty damn hot." She bites her lip and gives him a coy look from under her lashes. "Yep, and so is that." He shifts slightly, trying to get more comfortable in his chair. Thank god there's no one else around. "Remember how jealous you got when Kyra showed up?"

"Castle, for the last time, I was _not_ jealous!" She lies.

"Oh you so were, Kate, it was obvious!"

* * *

_"Where's Castle?" Ryan asked, surprised at the lack of Beckett's partner._

_"I don't know. Figured the death of a bridesmaid would be right up his street." Beckett said. She'd tried calling him but he hadn't answered. She wasn't worried, he'd probably just duct taped himself to a chair or handcuffed himself to the bed - apparently all these crazy things were research for his latest Nikki Heat novel._

_"Heard 'wedding' and probably got cold feet." Ryan said. And then realised what he'd said. "Oh crap, I'm sorry Beckett, I didn't mean-"_

_Beckett smiled. "It's fine, Ryan. It's not like he has the best track record, anyway." She replied, noticing the tension leaving Ryan's shoulders. She knew Castle was committed to their relationship, hell, it had been him that had said they'd be married one day. He loved her, she knew that._

_After Castle had turned up - she was right, he had duct tape on his pants - he caught up on the case. "So, who's the unlucky bride?" He asked._

_"Uh, her name is.." Ryan said, looking through the paperwork he had for the name he needed. But Castle got there first. _

_"_Kyra_?" He said._

_"Rick? Rick Castle?" The bride replied._

_Beckett heard this exchange. "You two know each other?" _

_"That would be an understatement." He replied. _

_Oh. _Oh_. He _knew_ her? How? Were they friends? _More_ than friends? Beckett wanted the answers to all of these questions. Now, preferably. _Woah_. She thought. _What's wrong with me?_ And then it hit her - she was jealous. Well, who wouldn't be? Her boyfriend had showed up to her crime scene and seemed to know the bride in a way that suggested she was more than just an acquaintance. She needed to know what was going on. However, before she could interrupt their little catch up, she had a development on the case._

_"Castle, Lanie's got something for us." She called out._

_"I'll catch up." He replied. _

_"Hmm, okay." Okay? _Okay_? No, this was not okay! He'd blown her off to catch up with a beautiful bride without even an explanation as to how he knew her!_

* * *

"Okay, yeah I was a bit jealous." She admits. "But you just swanned off to talk to her, didn't even tell me how you knew her!"

"I was shocked, that was all." He says. "I hadn't seen her in years and then she shows up as part of a case - at her own wedding! I wasn't thinking straight."

"Yeah, well that much was obvious. You made it out like I wasn't anything important that day!"

* * *

_Even Lanie picked up on Kate's jealousy. _

_"So, how's everything going in the bridal sweet? Not the day they had planned." Lanie said after filling Beckett in on what she'd found on the victim._

_"Yeah, or the suprise guest. Apparently, Castle has a history with the bride."_

_"Ancient, modern or sexual?" Lanie asked._

_"Seems like all of the above." Beckett replied._

_"You okay with that?"_

_"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" No. No, she was not okay. Her boyfriend was currently in the other room with someone she was assuming he'd had a relationship with and had seemed to have forgotten Kate even existed._

_Kyra was leaving with her fiancé as Beckett went back to find Castle._

_"Kyra Blaine. Wow." He said._

_"I take it she was someone very special."_

_"She's the one that got away." He said simply. Oh great. Brilliant. Way to make her feel better about this whole ridiculous situation._

* * *

"Oh come on, you know I didn't mean it like that!" He says. "But you never forget your first love, even when it's all over and you've both moved on. You're not telling me you can't remember your first love?"

Kate didn't answer. Truth was, _he_ was her first love. She thought she'd been in love when she was a teenager, but that was nothing compared to how she felt about Richard Castle. She'd been pretty crazy about him since their first night together and although she'd had a couple of relationships in the ten years they were apart, none of them had been love. And that was something she'd never told him. "Er yeah, okay fine. Point taken. I'm just saying a little attention would have been nice."

"Point considered. If Kyra shows up again, I'll be sure to show you enough attention too."

"Rick, I swear if Kyra shows up unannounced-"

He cut her off with a laugh. "Kate, I married _you,_ because I love _you_. And no, it's not because I couldn't have Kyra, it was because I want you. Okay?"

"Fine."

"I'm not complaining, though. Oh no, I have great memories of that case."

* * *

_"I feel like I know you a little. Nikki Heat, the dedication." Kyra said as her and Kate rode the elevator together._

_"Oh."_

_"I still read all of Rick's books." Oh I bet you do. _Shut up, Beckett_. She told the voice inside her head. This wasn't Kyra's fault. Really._

_"Yeah well, most of that book is just a result of Castle's overactive immagination." _

_"Its funny that you call him that, 'Castle'." When I knew him, he was just 'Rick', fresh off his first bestseller." _Oh great, why not rub it in more that you know him better than I do,_ Kate thought. "Well, overactive imagination or not, I know he only dedicates his books to people he really cares for." Well, that one she wasn't expecting. It was bittersweet really - Kate knew the dedication in _A Rose for Everafter_ was for Kyra but then he'd dedicated the first _Nikki Heat_ novel to her. Damn him and his stupid books._

* * *

"She uh, she told me you only dedicate your books to those you really care about." Kate says.

"And she was right. I do." He replies with a smile. "She was special to me Kate, _was_. And yeah, maybe it could have lasted but it didn't. And the reason for that is because I'm supposed to be here, with you."

Damn if the guy didn't a freaking answer for everything. He was a nightmare. _Her_ nightmare. But still a nightmare.

"Lanie could tell, the whole time she could tell how I was feeling." Kate says with a smile. "I tried to deny it but I was pretty obvious, huh."

"Yeah, a bit. And oh god when I told you she'd kissed me.."

"You're bringing that up? Now? Seriously Castle, a little tact would be nice. Jesus, I almost shot the woman after you told me that. How could she-?" She stops, seeing him trying not to laugh. "What? Castle, what are you laughing at?" She demands.

"Oh nothing. It's just, you got a little jealous again. It's kinda sexy."

Beckett sighs. He really was insufferable. "Come on, Castle, let's go home. We've got no paperwork and the boys will call if a body drops." She says, picking up her things.

The rode the elevator down to the exit in silence. Kate knew she hadn't really had anything to worry about that day, but it wasn't nice seeing him with Kyra like that. She sometimes forgot that just because he was the only man to have had her heart that it wasn't the same the other way round. Climbing into the car, she began to drive them home, neither of them speaking still.

"Um, Castle." She says, breaking the silence.

"Mmhmm?"

"There's uh, something I haven't told you.." She says. Glancing over at him, she can see he's looking at her expectantly. "You know earlier, when you said you never forget your first love?" She saw him nod out of the corner of her eye. "Uh..well my first love was - is, you." She says, eyes locked firmly on the road ahead of her.

After what feels like an eternity, Castle finally speaks. "I loved Kyra and I thought losing her was the biggest mistake of my life. But I was wrong - not trying to find you after that night all those years ago was the biggest mistake of my life. I love you, Kate. More than anyone I've ever been with, Kyra included." He tells her. "And uh, thank you, for telling me that. I know even now you sometimes find it hard to explain how you're feeling sometimes so that means a lot. And also, I'm kinda glad." He sees her frown slightly at his words but she still doesn't look at him. "I get jealous when I think of you with other men, but knowing you never loved any of them? Well that makes it a little more bearable."

She smiles at him as she parks her car outside their apartment. "I love you," she whispers, and leads him upstairs to show him just how much.

* * *

**_A/N: obviously I had to do this episode! Reviews would be lovely :) _**


	4. 2x13 - Sucker Punch

**_A/N: I'm so sorry that it's been a while since my last update, but I'm still writing another story at the same time and then I started a new one that had been in my head for weeks and then 6x17 aired and I just HAD to write a post-ep for that BUT here is chapter 4..a difficult one for Beckett! _**

* * *

**2x13 - Sucker Punch**

"Castle?"

"Mmm?"

"I wanna go and see my mom."

Castle's eyes shot open and he twisted his head so that he could look at Beckett. They were led together in bed, Beckett curled into his side and his arm wrapped around her, keeping her close to him. The early morning sunshine was creeping through the window and the traffic was a steady hum below them, it seemed some people had places to be on this sunny Sunday morning.

"I- uh..okay?" He replied.

"I know it's not her anniversary or birthday or anything, but I was just thinking about how much has happened over the last few months and I feel like paying her a visit and saying hi if you know what I mean?"

"Of course. You just took me by surprise, that's all. I can call the car service if you like, have them take you?"

"Us. Take us."

"You want me to come with you?"

"Of course I do Castle, you're my husband, why wouldn't I want you to come?"

"Because I know how much those visits mean to you and the fact that you're thinking of making one out of the blue like this isn't something you normally do. I know how upsetting they are for you and I also know that you sit there and talk to your mom, tell her about your life and I've been with you a few times but I've always got the impression that you'd rather do it alone." He said. It wasn't that he minded going with her, in fact it was an honour for her to invite him, but he didn't want her to feel like she had to invite him. He wanted her to know that even though they were married, she didn't have to do everything with him.

"Yeah they do mean a lot to me but so do you, Castle." She said. "I've been selfish before, I've gone alone because I don't want to share her with anyone but I'm being ridiculous. She would have absolutely loved you and it's not fair for me to push you away when it comes to her, not after everything you've done for me."

"Kate, everything I have ever done has been because I _want_ to, not because I felt like I had to. And I don't think you're being selfish by wanting to visit your mom alone, I can't imagine what it was like losing a parent at 19 and having to carry on with your life. If you want to visit your mom then that's fine, but please don't feel like you owe me anything."

"No, I want you there. I want us to talk to her together, like a family."

Castle didn't say anything, just hugged her tighter. His love for this woman knew no bounds and quite often when he thought he couldn't possibly love her anymore, she proved him wrong.

"So you'll come with me?" She asked.

"Of course I will, sweetheart." He said, kissing the top of her head. "What made you want to visit her now?"

"I was just thinking about how short life can be and I don't want to look back and think I should have visited her more. I know we don't have justice for her, not completely, but I know this could be the closest we ever get, and even if we don't ever get the person behind it, we know we got the man who actually killed her." She said and Castle felt her tears through his shirt where her head was nestled into his chest.

"Oh Kate.." He whispered, rubbing small circles on her back in a soothing motion. It wasn't often she broke down so he knew she must be really upset if she was crying and not locking herself away where he couldn't see. The day she had shot and killed Dick Coonan had been one of the best and worst days of his life.

* * *

_Castle didn't know what to do. Both he and Kate were heading slowly towards the exit to the precinct with Dick Coonan right behind them with a loaded gun. He couldn't even formulate a plan that would actually work and no one would get hurt. They were trapped, they had been played by Coonan and they were about to let Beckett's mothers killer back out onto the streets of New York. _There had to be another way out of this.

_The next thing either of them knew was that it wasn't going to plan. Roy was stood in front of them, gun trained on Coonan._

_"No. No! No! Sir! I need him alive." Beckett cried out, this was the closest she'd ever come to finding her mothers killer and although she was about to let him get away, she knew who she was looking for now and that gave her the tiniest bit of hope that she needed to set Dick Coonan free._

_"That's right, you do need me. Now, back him off, or Castle dies."_

Castle_. Kate was terrified. Coonan currently had a gun pressed into Castle's back and she knew he wasn't scared to use it. If Montogmery shot, so did Coonan. There was no way she was letting him hurt Castle like that, no way. And it was in that moment that Kate knew he was_ the one_. Until this very moment, her moms case had come first, bar nothing. She didn't let anything stand in her way of trying to solve the case and it was the top of her priorities - until now. At this moment in time, she'd drop everything and let Dick Coonan walk away scot free if it meant she could be with Castle for the rest of her life. _

_Coming back to reality, she tried to reason with her captain again. __"Sir, back off. Please."_

_"You know I can't do that." Montgomery said, gun still raised and aimed at the spot where Coonan was holding Castle._

_"Hey! You wanna learn who ordered the hit on your mommy, you better make sure I make it out of here." _

_The Kate Beckett 'before Richard Castle came back into her life' would have done everything she could to let him go in the hope of him giving her the name she needed. But the Kate Beckett 'in love with Richard Castle' just wanted him safe. She wasn't stupid, she knew the chances of Coonan giving up who was behind this were slim, but all she wanted was Castle back in her arms. She'd get the truth out of Coonan one day._

_"Roy, please." She pleaded. And it seemed the use of his first name worked - he lowered his gun. _

_"That's it, Roy. Nice and easy." _God he was a patronising jackass_._

_Castle took advantage of the fact that Coonan was momentarily distracted with Montgomery's actions and slammed his head into Coonans face, slipping away from him in the process. _

_Kate reacted instinctively - she saw the second Coonan raised his gun to shoot Castle and knew she had to be quicker. Pointing her gun in Coonans direction, she fired, her bullet hitting him in the chest._

* * *

"He deserved it." Kate said simply.

Jesus Christ she was extrordinary. "I know he did, Kate, but it meant waiting so much longer before we found out who was really behind it."

She just shrugged against him. "Doesn't really matter, not like we can touch him anyway." He was way too powerful for that. "And if you thought I was letting him hurt you then you didn't know me very well at all."

"But Kate, it was the guy who killed your mom. Over ten years you'd be looking for a lead like this and then the guy you wanted turned up and you were about to set him free!"

"Yes, because the alternative was living without you. I was desperate to catch my moms killer, I know. But at that moment, I realised how much you meant to me and nothing I did was going to bring my mom back so all I needed to do was keep you safe."

"That's really something I admire about you, you know. You have this incredible ability to forget everything that might have haloed in the past and deal with the here and now. You're pretty damn amazing."

"I couldn't have done any of it without you." She replied and he smiled. That was his wife, never one to take the praise on her own. "I'm glad I killed him, you know."

"Really? Even though it made the rest of your moms case so much harder?"

"Yeah. Because if he had been let back out onto the streets, god knows what he could have done. He killed his own brother for crying out loud, how much more heartless can you get? And I knew somehow, that having you around would make it so much easier to deal with."

"I love you." He whispered into her hair, and it took her back to when she first heard him say those three words.

* * *

_Castle had run home to change and clean up, before heading back to the precinct to check on Beckett. When he walked in, she was reading something with a smile in her face. God how he loved it when she smiled.._

_Looking up, she realised he was there. "Montgomery's post-incident evaluation." She explained, "you come off like Steven Seagal."_

_"Should I be flattered or insulted?" He asked._

_"Both."_

_He put the food he'd brought with him on her desk. "I didn't know what you felt like so I got Sushi, got some Italian, got some Thai. I even grabbed some hot dogs."_

_"It wasn't your fault, you know." She stated simply. _

_"I overstepped. I came down here to say that I'm sorry. And I'm through. I can't shadow you anymore. If it wasn't for me.."_

_"If it wasn't for you, I would've never found my mom's killer. And someday soon, I'm gonna find the sons of bitches who had Coonan kill her. And I'd like you around when I do. And if you tell anyone what I'm about to say, there's gonna be another shooting, but...I've gotten used to you pulling my pigtails. I have a hard job, Castle, and having you around makes it a little more fun."_

_"Your secret's safe with me." He said, before pausing._

_"What?" Beckett said. "You look like you want to say something.."_

_"I love you."_

* * *

Beckett let out a giggle at that particular memory.

"It's not funny!" Castle exclaimed. "I told you I loved you and you just passed me some cutlery so we could eat dinner! I didn't know if you'd heard me or if you were just planing your escape route!"

"I heard you, Castle, loud and clear. I just wasn't ready to tell you then..I don't know why, I mean, I was in love with you from the word go but there was something stopping me telling you at that point."

"It's okay, you told me eventually!" Castle said and Beckett smiled. "Now come on," he said, pushing her off of him, "we need to get showered and dressed. Don't wanna be late to see your mom now, do we!"

He climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom with Kate smiling at his retreating form. He was perfect and she was the luckiest girl in the world.

* * *

**_A/N: I'm debating whether or not to do a chapter for The Mistress Always Spanks Twice so I'm leaving it up to you guys - do you want one for that episode or are you not too bothered? Please let me know and also let me know your thoughts on this chapter :)_**


	5. 2x16 - The Mistress Always Spanks Twice

**_A/N: so, I'm going to attempt to write a chapter for The Mistress Always Spanks Twice. This could be interesting.. I'm trying to keep it T but it might just push over that a bit, there may be a few suggestive comments in this chapter - I mean, how could I not?! But yeah, you've seen the episode, I'm sure you can figure out where I'm going with this, feel free to skip it!_**

* * *

**2x16 - The Mistress Always Spanks Twice**

"You okay?" Castle asked, leaning down to plant a kiss on Kate's lips.

"Fine. Brilliant. Amazing, in fact," she panted out, "you?"

"Me? Oh god, I'm perfect right now," he chuckled.

Slipping off of the bed for a moment, Castle put the handcuffs and chocolate body paint back into the box and away on the top shelf of the closet before jumping back into bed with his worn out wife.

"I still can't believe you actually let me handcuff you to the bed!" He mumbled into her hair. Not that it had been the first time, Kate Beckett was rather _adventurous_ in the bedroom - something he had learnt pretty early on in their relationship. Not that he was complaining, oh god no, the fact that she was willing to try pretty much anything was a much bigger turn on than he would ever admit and he especially loved it when she gave up control..like just now.

"Oh come on, Castle, it's not the first time I've let you handcuff me or tie me to the bed!"

"I know. But you're such a control freak that getting to restrain you and _me_ having the power is really fucking hot." Just now, he had handcuffed her to the bed, got her all worked up and wanting before covering her body with the chocolate body paint. She had been helpless and desperate and he'd taken his time, devouring every inch of her until she lost it.

"You're the first, you know." She paused, waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, she carried on, "you're the first person I've ever let do that to me."

"Really?" Castle sounded shocked. "It's just..you're so _playful_ in the bedroom, I figured it was sort of a thing of yours."

"It is. With you." She snuggled into him wrapping a leg over his thigh, her head resting against his chest. She was still sticky from the body paint but she didn't have the energy to shower just yet. "It's always been a 'thing' of mine. I've always wanted to do it but like you said, I'm a control freak. Guess I never trusted anyone enough until you to actually do it."

"Well, I'm glad you trust me enough then. 'Cause I'm telling you, it's seriously mind blowing having you completely at my mercy, no way of taking back the control like you sometimes do." Usually when he tried to take charge, she'd end up taking what she wanted anyway. He had no idea how she did it but she always seemed to win, and by that point he was usually so turned on at her dominance that he turned to mush and let her do what she wanted. Handcuffs were one of the only ways of stopping her.

"I still remember the first time I let you handcuff me to the bed," she mumbled into his chest, "you looked like a kid on christmas morning."

"I couldn't believe you were actually going to let me! It was a dream come true! It was after that weird case right, at the uh, fetish club?"

"Mmhmm."

"Yeah, you really did the whole dominatrix thing way too well, scary really."

* * *

_They'd caught up with Ryan and Lanie on their victim and right now they were debating the mystery of the caramel sauce._

_"Maybe our killer has a sweet tooth."_

_"Given her state of undress, I'd say it's more likely he had a sexual fetish." Beckett said._

_Oh. _Oh_. Oh god. Did she really just say that? Castle was suddenly flooded with mental images of his girlfriend covered in caramel sauce, writing under him in bed as he licked it off her slowly..he briefly wondered whether she'd go for it and then remembered who his girlfriend was. Of _course_ she'd go for it, she was a wildcat in the bedroom._

_Luckily, Castle's slightly inappropriate thoughts were interrupted by Lanie's take on the situation. "I can do the chocolate, I'll even do the whipped cream bikini, but caramel? I prefer slippery to sticky."_

_"Does she know we can hear her?" Castle asked to chuckles from Ryan._

_And then Beckett almost floored him with another comment, "bondage cuffs, custom-made. Looks like our killer liked public play." Wow._

_"How can you tell the difference between custom and regular?" He asked, wondering how much he could get out of her right now._

_"The leather is too high-quality to be mass produced and it's hand-stitched."_

_Not what he was aiming for. "No, I mean, how can _you_ tell the difference?"_

_"So, time of death?" She asked, effectively closing his line of enquiry. Dammit. Well, one thing was for sure - he was definitely going to make it a top priority to find out how she knew so much about those cuffs._

_After coming to the conclusion that their victim was murdered somewhere else and brought here in a suitcase, Beckett decided they'd examined the body enough and started to get to work on their investigation._

_"Only a handful of bondage shops in the city do custom work, so let's take photos of those cuffs, send it out, see if anyone can ID where it came from." _

_Okay, now he was definitely intrigued. "Only a handful of shops? Okay, what aren't you telling me?"_

_"So much, Castle. So very very much."_

* * *

"Mmm, you really were not telling me so much. Jesus Beckett, if I had known then what you were into.."

"What, you never would have tried it on with me?"

He let out a small laugh, was that really what she thought? "No, I was thinking more along the lines of never letting you go to work and having you show me exactly what you were into on more than one occasion!"

"So you liked that case then, huh?"

"No, what I liked was finding a side of you I didn't know existed. And that position me and the boys were convinced was impossible to get into - you coming over and saying it was definitely possible? Jesus, were you trying to give me a heart attack?!"

"Mm, well I showed you how I could get into that position didn't I?" She whispered seductively, shifting her body so she was straddling him now, her head still on his chest. She just liked being close to him.

"Oh god.." Castle had extremely vivid and pleasant memories of that night. He didn't even want to think about where she'd learnt how to do _that_.

"And you uh, enjoyed the trip to the sex shop hey?" She teased. Truth be told, she had enjoyed that too. They hadn't really spoken about anything like that in their relationship at that point, they were too busy still getting to know what the other liked but she wouldn't say she was opposed to the idea at all, she just wasn't sure how she was supposed to tell her boyfriend that she wanted him to handcuff her to the bed, gag her and make her beg.

"Honestly? I enjoyed what came after the case if I'm honest. I never would have pegged you for someone into that kinda stuff." He still remembered what she'd told him and he could tell it had taken a lot of courage for her to come out with it..but he wasn't going to turn down something like that with the woman of his dreams. Jesus, she was perfect.

"You know what I enjoyed most about that day, though?" She shook her head. "That was the first time you told me you loved me." He said.

* * *

_They had headed back to her apartment after the first day on that case, both desperate and wanting from all the teasing throughout the day. They'd emerged from the bedroom a little while later and ordered take out for dinner._

_"You know, I can stage crime scenes just like the one we had today if that's the reaction I'm going to get every time." He said to her over his noodles._

_"Oh yeah? So you liked it, then?"_

_"Was that not obvious?" He asked incredulously, he thought he had been more than appreciative of her actions._

_"Mm, yeah I guess it was. Castle?" She asked, suddenly going shy. He looked at her, waiting expectantly for her to carry on. "I uh, I love you." _

_Castle beamed. He knew she did, of course, but he couldn't put into words how much it meant for her to say it out loud. "I love you, too." And he took them back into the bedroom to show her just how much._

* * *

"I still can't believe you phoned and made that appointment, you know."

"Aw, were you afraid, Ricky?" She simpered.

"Of that place? No. Of you when you get all controlling? Oh hell yes. But it's so hot at the same time.."

Beckett laughed, she had really enjoyed that case, proving to him that she was in charge was so much fun, even just to see his reaction. "Well I knew you weren't completely innocent."

"What makes you say that?"

"Castle, the first time I met you I arrested you in the New York Public Library and you told me your safe word was 'apples'. You wouldn't have a safe word if you hadn't been into stuff like that before."

"Mm, I guess you're right. I just never knew it could be so much fun until I met you."

She moved over him again, placing her lips next to his ear, "fancy seeing how far I can push you until you have to use that word?" She whispered, nibbling on his earlobe.

* * *

_"Castle, why don't you sit this one out? I think Mr. Caraway will respond better to a strong female hand."_

_They had their suspect in the interrogation room and Beckett was about to go in there alone. Oh god, this is what dreams were made of. "Sam-I-Am in a box. With a fox. We're gonna need some popcorn."_

_Castle was spellbound by her. She was controlling that interview like there was no tomorrow and he'd be lying if he said it wasn't a turn on. She'd always liked to be in charge - both in and out of the bedroom, but this was something else._

* * *

"Okay, time to get you in the shower. That body paint has made you all sticky!" Castle said, lifting her off of him and heading into the bathroom to get the shower running.

She followed behind him, whispering "you wanna see how many more positions I can get into?" In his ear as she passed, stepping under the hot stream of water and waiting for him to join her.

* * *

_**A/N: that was a fun one to write! Hope I kept it pretty T rated.. Reviews would make me a very happy bunny!**_


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